Mommy Guilt and How to Stop it
By: Aurelia Williams
Mommy guilt is one of the most common feelings mothers go through at some time. Moms will feel guilt for not being able to provide the very best for their children. This makes them see themselves as inferior at being a parent as other moms. Just remember that you are not alone. There are many other moms who go through the same thing. Here are some ways to help combat the mommy guilt before it takes over your self esteem.
Be nice to yourself – Every mom has experienced a moment, when raising their child, where something happened to them that made the mom feel like it was their fault. This is probably one of the most popular forms of mommy guilt ever. Your child falls and bruises their knee; your immediate reaction is to berate yourself as a mother.
“I’m a terrible mother,” is how it usually begins. Be kind to yourself, because you are a good mother. Things will happen with your child and no matter how hard you try to provide for the safest environment possible, things will still happen. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad mother.
Release the need to control everything – Remind yourself that you are not in control of everything that happens to your child. A part of growing up is learning from mistakes. The harder you try to keep them from everything bad out there, the harder they will ultimately fight you on it.
Even though you are an involved parent and see after your child, there is no way you can prevent some things from happening. Just spend that energy on being there for your child to help them through life and not try so hard to control it.
Trust yourself – You are the best person for the tough job called ‘Mommy’ to your child. Don’t second-guess yourself. When your intuition says that your child shouldn’t be doing something; then learn to trust it and stand firm. Don’t give in just because you don’t want them mad at you. Your internal leads are there for a reason.
Don’t cave in to guilt trips – Kids like to take their parents down guilt trip lane. We all want our children to have and do whatever they want, but it’s not always the safest or best thing for them. When you make a decision, stick to your guns.
Don’t allow others to influence your parental decisions – It’s typical for other parents to offer unwarranted advice. While it’s nice to receive other’s opinions on something about your child, you are ultimately the one who will need to make the decision. If you are faced with this kind of circumstance; clearly tell them that you appreciate their opinion and will keep it in mind, but don’t let them influence you too much on your decisions.
You know your child, better than anyone, so you are the one that will know what’s best for them. All parents as well as kids make mistakes, so it’s important not to let yourself doubt your mothering abilities. You’re raising your kids the best you can, so it’s time to start believing in yourself.